Guest: Chris Wilderboer
Guest Bio: Chris Wildeboer is the founder of Balance Central and has been working in the Wellness Industry for over 15 years – today she is one of the highest qualified Qld practitioners currently working in her field.
Chris was a Kinesiologist and from there she discovered many other techniques but the one that she has been using now for 14 plus years is R.A.W. (Rekindled Ancient Wisdom).
Chris joins us to talk about her book Balance Central in a 5 segment special.
Health Professional Radio
Katherine Lodge: Thanks for listening to Health Professional Radio. I’m here with Chris Wildeboer and we’re talking about her book “Balance Central” in a five segment special. And we’re up to the chapter of “Patience.” Welcome Chris.
Chris Wildeboer: Hi Katherine. It’s great to still be talking about this.
K:Patience. Patience is a virtue, isn’t in? Can you tell us about this chapter?
C: Really, I felt when I put the first three chapters together that I was really asking a lot of people and I felt I needed to take the pressure off. And one of the biggest things I’ve had to learn from this is to be patience with myself.
K: Uh huh.
C: I had learned so many, let’s go with bad habits, and just ways of being but weren’t very functional and I essentially have to unlearn them and find a new way of dealing with things. And I had to be patient and it took me years, seriously years, for me to get past a lot of my patterns. So I had to be patient with myself and I would do things and be great for a while. I’ve learned some new way of thinking or I feel like I’ve had this massive shifts in my emotional world and then I’d run into a family member and suddenly I’d be like taken back to when I was 16 years old.
C: And I was 30 something. And I would go, “How did that happen? And that’s not very good because I’ve been doing all this work and I haven’t achieved this stuff yet.” And so I have to really learn to be patient with myself.
C: I thought I was introducing this ideas around ‘boundaries’ and ‘responding’ and ‘detachment,’ which I always feel is the big one because I think I feel it’s the big one because it’s the one I’m still absolutely working on. Patience has just takes the pressure off and allows you go to, “You know what, I didn’t get that right today but that’s okay because tomorrow I can try that again.”
C: And it allows us to not beat ourselves up and put the negative field into what we’re re-learning.
K: Yeah and I’m glad you made that distinction because I think we can even split it into two. Like for example it, it’s about patience – I think our society to be very impatient, whether it’s you know, no one wants to wait to get a seat at a restaurant that they want or no one wants to wait you know I hear people complaining, “Oh my internet is too slow blah, blah, blah.” So we’ve got that type of patience we’re people get angry driving, you know whatever because their being held up. So people find time is precious, so people get round up about that little things but then they’ve also the bigger thing as you said with patience with themselves which I think is a lot harder and that you have to give yourself time to learn as you say. Maybe you’re working on something and you know you’re gonna get there. It just takes a little bit of time.
C: Absolutely and I, you know, we’re getting samples of this often. You know we get it in our personal life say if, so for me I use to weigh nearly a 100kg and I was able to drop by about 20-25kilos. That was awesome, fantastic.
C: It took me 12 months.
C: Which is a healthy with that amount of weight.
C: Yeah. Now that was great and “Yay! Celebrate my achievement.” That’s fantastic except with what happened then 2 years later, we went on a cruise. Need I say more?
K: The 24 hour buffet yeah, okay.
C: Yeah, that one. And they make the best the scones with jam and cream.
K: I think people who haven’t ever been on a cruise don’t know that the food is quite good. For mass produced food, it was quite good.
C: It’s really good. Anyway, so what happened after that cruise we’ve got back into some old habits and our taste buds had gone back into sugar. We were celebrating the sugar, and I found that the fat content in my body increased again. Now not by as much and my awareness of it was phenomenally much more articulated. I went, “Oh that body shape’s changing.” With those years I didn’t know what my body shape was it sounds ridiculous but I would look in the mirror and I would have a very delusional perfection of what my body looked like.
C: So two years in, I was able to “Oh I’m a bit wider than I wanted to be.” Now no one else really noticed but I did. And so then I went, “Okay, let’s get real about this. Let’s start this process again.” And I’m currently, so that was last August, I over that time probably put on 5-10 kilos. I’ve now dropped by about 3 or 4. I’ve got now a little chunk to go and then I’ll be very, very happy. But it’s a learning.
C: I have to still learn. I had 30, 40 years of amazing you know habit…
C: And I have to give myself permission to not get it right all the time so that I know how to get it right and while I give myself permission to be patient, it’s been much, much easier to get back on the band wagon of dropping those fat cells. Because I can, I’m not beating myself up.
K: Right. While I’m listening to you, I’m actually thinking about patience in a not just with yourself but others. For example, and maybe some people argue with me but I feel to some extent things like your weight – you can control. As hard it can be you can at least have some control over your health in terms of your diet that you can make healthy choices. But when I talk about patience with others, just as an example I have some friends who are in their late 30’s. They’re waiting into finding the one, you know, they want to have the family and time’s ticking. And no matter what they do, whether they try to make people whatever, it’s just not working out. But they just haven’t met the right partner for themselves and I’m not just talking about people in their 30’s. All our listeners that are listening, you can be of any age, maybe you’ve been in a long term relationship before, maybe your divorced, maybe you’ve never been married. But when people are wanting a relationship and they’re waiting and they feel that, “Oh this is the right time for me. All the ducks are in a row.” And they’ve got the career thing and the financial thing, they just want the partner. It’s hard to them to be patient because they feel, although they can control themselves, they can’t control when they’re gonna meet this partner of theirs, what’s in their future.
C: Yeah. And look, actually I get what you’re saying and with people that I’ve work with…
C: It’s actually a really common example of what people come in to my business about. They come and go….
K: What finding a mate or?
C: Yeah. Finding the right person; finding my life’s purpose; I haven’t found my ideal job; I can’t find myself – those sorts of things. And that’s what you’re asking me about marriage, about patience, about life and purpose and partner and all those sort of things.
K: Yeah, things people feel they can’t control.
C: That they can’t control because this sort of… And you know actually, when we get down to it, it is us. We are showing up with some form of confusion about what it is we want so we show up with, “Well all boys are gonna be bad so I’m not gonna deal with that. I just don’t want to deal with them.” And surprisingly, either you find bad boys or you don’t find any of them because you’re just not gonna be bother or you may have a long term trust issues that won’t allow you to let someone in no matter how good they are.
C: Again, it’s about ourselves so the outside circumstance that we view is like it’s literally our mirror. It is our reflection, so I work very much with people about finding that patience. So if somebody has those issues, it’s really about patience within themselves. So they do have the ability, now the distinction that I want to make here is I get that you’re giving different example. You’re asking me a different question about – sure if by choosing what food and doing your own weight management, all those sorts of things that’s very personal. That’s on a very conscious level and what I’m talking about is this other side of patience it’s on the unconscious level. This is the stuff that you’re running in the background but it’s still us. We are still ultimately responsible to everything that happen to our world and everything we see in our world. So ultimately, it comes back to us that really coping that I’d love to do is use this technique RAW to get to access to that area and to work on the patience for those things to show up. So what happens is when somebody comes in with that sort of question or that sort of imbalance in their outside world, we start to see we’re the imbalance is being held within them. And suddenly the outside world changes…
C: Because they’ve had that patience balance within them.
K: I see.
C: So they’re not forever hunting for that partner and not forever looking for the ideal job somehow.
K: They always describe it like this.
C: Somehow magically my ideal job just showed up, how did that happen? Or somehow, I suddenly met this guy and it was great or whatever that is. It suddenly shows up because within them, it has been settled. The imbalances have been moved through. So I would tend to offer back to you that even though those two exampled you said is one you have a lot of control over and the other one you don’t really. I’m gonna say that you do.
C: That it’s just comes from my very unconscious space and it is certainly a concept but it is our consciousness and our conscious choices are very you know, it’s a pretty small space that we function in a conscious way. A lot of things are driven by our unconscious choices.
K: Lots of food for thoughts there. And stay with us because we will be back shortly with a very last segment of “Acceptance.” Thanks Chris.